My GTA:IV is Defective

I’ve had Grand Theft Auto IV for a week now, and I have yet to murder anyone in real life. Needless to say, I’m very disappointed. When I purchase a “murder simulator” I damn well expect to learn how to murder, yet, to this point, I wouldn’t feel confident applying the skills I’ve acquired in the game to real life.

Just this morning, while driving to work, some guy totally cut me off and despite playing video games my entire life, including all the GTA games, I still failed to generate the burning rage within me that would propel me to murder the dude. I didn’t even ram his car for crying out loud! I just forgot about it and kept going.

I have never “been with” a prostitute, but then again, GTA is a murder simulator, not a sex simulator. I think I need Mass Effect for that.

Is it just me? Is there something wrong with me, that all these “murder simulators” I’ve been playing have failed to compel me to kill? I checked some forums to see if anyone else is experiencing a lack of real life murdering but can’t find any direct reference to it, so at this point, I’m guessing my copy of GTA:IV is defective.

Of course, there is the very slim possibility that I’m not psychotic, and can distinguish between right and wrong.  Or maybe it’s my parents fault for teaching me that murder is bad.  Huh.  Who knows?

2 Replies to “My GTA:IV is Defective”

  1. Maybe you are pyschotic and suffer from multiple personality disorder and you just don’t remember murdering all those people. Remember the time you thought you were a Mechwarrior? Damn psychotics!

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